


Brotherhood Of Man

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:13:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Company is not <i>entirely</i> comprised of men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thorin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt at the kink meme:
>
>> Unbeknownst to each other, all the members of the company are actually women masquerading as men. Through a series of adventure-related circumstances (be they humorous or harrowing), several of the company "come out" as women, prompting several of the others to do the same. ~~Meanwhile, Thorin isn't admitting to anything, because "King Under The Mountain" is a hella majestic title, and she isn't about to forfeit it due to some stupid gendered language constraints.~~
>> 
>> Make it as cracky or serious as you want! Ship whomever you want!
>> 
>> +10 for including acknowledgment of trans*, genderqueer, and non-binary identities
>> 
>> +100 "all the members of the company" includes Gandalf.
> 
> I ended up deviating slightly. Sorry, OP! Thorin's the first one who's found out about it. Oops?
> 
> Title from the How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying song of the same name. Inspired by the oh-so-wonderful line "Deep down, under our skin, there is flesh and blood. We're all brothers!"

Thorin was the child of Thrain, and the grandchild of Thror, and she would be _damned_ if her mountain went to Dain because of an antiquated law about women being unable to rule. And if it came out that she was a woman before she could have the law changed, well, Fili preferred to be known as a boy anyway, and if anyone had a problem with _that one_ , Thorin would drag them to the training yards and beat them soundly until they agreed.

Per her request, the only ones who knew her to be a woman referred to her as a man, even in private, for fear of eavesdroppers. Amongst the company, only Balin, Dwalin, Kili, and Fili knew, and Thorin had intended to keep it that way. Had being the important word, because that went up in smoke after the fight with Azog. (“Fight” was being generous, but her ego had taken enough of a blow that day without making it worse. She’d been saved by a _Hobbit_ , for Durin’s sake. That made it bad enough already.)

After being left by the eagles, and, in a moment that really should’ve had the company wondering about blood loss going to her head, hugging the burglar, they insisted on her being checked over for injuries. She saw the twinkle in Gandalf’s eyes that said he knew and scowled. Of course the wizard would get enjoyment out of this.

She let them take her cloak and jerkin and her outermost tunic before the others realized what was going on.

“Not a word beyond the company, understand?” she said, and everyone nodded, Kili and Fili looking on in amusement. “Stop looking like that. You didn’t ‘call’ anything.”

“Oh, but we did, Uncle. We called that something would happen that would force you to reveal it to the company,” Fili replied, a smug grin slowly forming on his face.

“Kili, you’re my new heir. Your brother’s insufferable,” Thorin muttered and Kili smirked at Fili. “And I don’t think I’m injured badly beyond bruises and perhaps a broken rib. I’ve dealt with worse. I’ll be fine.”

“Let them check, Uncle, please?” Fili asked, and Thorin sighed. She had thought herself immune to Kili and Fili’s pleading looks, but not even eighty years’ worth of tolerance was any help when their pleading was backed by genuine worry and concern.

“Fine. But only to prove to you that I’m fine.”


	2. Kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was slightly less humorous and slightly more angsty than intended. Kili's dysphoria was something that wouldn't be ignored, though, so... The next one will, hopefully, be less angst and more fun.
> 
> (For those who want to know: Kili was born male, identifies as genderqueer and prefers effeminate pronouns. [She/her/hers.])

After settling for the night, Kili found herself alone on the edges of camp. Fili was over with Bofur, most likely plotting to raise hell, as her brother was wont to do. Thorin was talking to Gandalf, although “talking” was being generous. “Yelling” might have been a better word choice, judging by Thorin’s rapidly increasing volume and flailing arms.

Kili smiled when she noticed Fili mimicking Thorin, shaking her head slightly at her brother’s antics. And everyone thought she was the wild one. Ridiculous, that was. She dug out her whetstone, which miraculously survived Goblin-town and everything after, and started sharpening her knife, watching the other members of the company as she did, because it distracted her from the ugly feeling in the back of her head.

The ugly feeling rarely showed up for her, though she knew Fili dealt with it constantly. It showed up whenever she was feeling particularly out of place in her own body. Fili, being the way he was, had found ways to deal with it, but Kili hadn’t figured a way for herself yet. She mainly just spent the time distracting herself or involving herself in Fili’s antics.

Sometimes, she envied Thorin, but those times were few and far-between and only brought on by the ugly feeling creeping its way into her head again.

Fili, as if he could sense Kili’s mood blackening (and, really, at this point, he probably could), came over and dragged her to sit with himself and Bofur, who was trying to make dinner, though he kept slapping Bombur’s fingers away from the food and muttering to himself.

“Sisters,” Bofur grumbled quietly, and Kili frowned slightly. “What are you going to do?”

“I would be careful about who you say that around, Bofur. Kili has a nasty temper and perfect aim. You might find your beard pinned to the nearest tree instead of attached to your face,” Fili said, grinning and elbowing Kili, whose frown morphed to a smile. When Fili actively tried to make her smile, she could never resist. Damn her brother and his ability to charm. “And besides, I’m sure Bombur would end up slipping something into your stew, so maybe keep that comment quiet around her. I have no desire to be stuck on your watch because Bombur dropped a laxative in your food.”

Kili couldn’t help but burst into laughter, especially when Thorin, mid-tirade, whirled around and opened her mouth to yell at Kili for too much noise. (Dear uncle: Pot, kettle.)


	3. Bofur & Others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am so so so terribly sorry for how long this took. I had the worst writer's block ever. (And I got sucked into the Les Miserables and Teen Wolf fandoms. Oops.)
> 
> If anyone actually still reads this, I am so, _so_ sorry.
> 
> Also, I'm wrapping this up in the next chapter, because wowzers, this has taken way too long. I'll see how it goes from there, and maybe expand on some characters' stories.

Bofur slipped Kili extra stew that night, to try and help make amends for upsetting her. She passed it to Kili, apologizing as she did and Kili waved her off.

“My sister and I make jokes about it all the time. We never thought someone else might be upset by it. I’m sorry, it was an insensitive thing to do.”

“It’s alright,” Kili said, smiling at sitting back down next to Fili. “Really.”

“Alright, lass, if you’re sure,” Bofur said, sitting down with her own stew and starting to eat. “Hey, Bilbo, what about you? Do you have any siblings?”

“Nope, just me. My mother always wanted me to have a sibling, but never ended up having another child,” Bilbo said, shrugging and continuing to eat. “Anybody else?”

“I didn’t want my sisters. One’s a thief and the other mothers me worse than ours did,” Ori grumbled, glaring at Dori and ducking out of her sister’s reach. “You can have mine, mister Baggins.”

“Miss, if you don’t mind,” Bilbo replied. “And I would take them, but I think that they’d stand out more than a bit in the Shire.” Dori made an offended-sounding squawking noise that had Bofur falling off the log she sat on, she was laughing so hard.

“Hey, keep it down! We don’t need orcs, or worse, elves brought down on our heads by your noise,” Thorin yelled, stomping over to where they were sitting and glaring fiercely at them all. Kili and Fili just raised an eyebrow at her.

“Why, dear uncle, if anything will bring the elves down upon us, it will be the very, very loud dressing-down you just gave a millennia-old wizard. I think they heard you in Ered Luin,” Fili said, mouth twitching into a smile.

“Agreed. I do believe the Men have a term for that. Something about the pot calling the kettle black?” Kili added, smirking at Thorin. Bofur, who _had_ been calming down, started up again at Thorin’s groaned ‘why am I related you two?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of the end of this chapter, characters are as follows:
> 
> Thorin: Cis woman  
> Fili: FTM  
> Kili: IDs as non-binary, but prefers female pronouns  
> Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Ori, Dori, Nori, and Bilbo: Cis women.


End file.
